Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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