Fine. I'll sleep in my office
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
