i already hear my dad disowning me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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