she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
