I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
