the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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