every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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