ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize