You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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