I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
