I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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