what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
A+ Viking dick
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize