Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
