ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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