I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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