I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
