he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
