we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
