my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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