Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Drake has all the answers
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
