So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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