I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
