i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
