Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
