we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
