Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
