They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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