CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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