i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
