Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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