She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
