in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
