Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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