i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize