i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who did Billy Mays play for?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
