We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
