whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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