Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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