Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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