discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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