ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
