oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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