The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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