I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
