You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
