I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
