I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
