Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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