id be glad to
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
