The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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