You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
