Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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