First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
