shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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