You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
