My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize