Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
