is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
