I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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