I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize